I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize