yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
