if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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