Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We are two peas in an std pod
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
