exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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