I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize