Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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