She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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