did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
