and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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