No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
