pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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