I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
