My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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