I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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