Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
