Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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