I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
