hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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