Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize