a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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