2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
