Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
