i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
