we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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