I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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