the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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