sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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