But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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