I didn't shave. On purpose
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize