At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
