I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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