Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
