I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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