youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
foreskin is a definite game changer
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
