Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
