sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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