There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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