mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
