you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
