This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
