like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
