Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize