Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize