where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We have started to decorate penises.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
