Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
