you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
