My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
