This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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