just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
