...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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