What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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