I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
