i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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