I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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