sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
