Where did you get a picture of my penis
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
