Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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