If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
