So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
