nut hugger
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
