Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize