They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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