I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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