yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
