I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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