hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
