He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
