i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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