I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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