He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
